we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize