Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
