Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we should paint friendship bongs
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
