How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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