I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
