I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
