im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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