I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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