Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
