I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
