my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
