that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
