she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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