i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize