she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
