I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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