i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize