I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
