I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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