did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
