The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
