Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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