...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
