It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
