Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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