did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
