I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
