Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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