I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
