The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dicks are not precious.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
