I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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