did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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