would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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