I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
