Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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