you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
