Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
