dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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