How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
