Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
