so explain again why im purple
no
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
