he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
