I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
