Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The Olympian is in my bed
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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