just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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