Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
