Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
