Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize