Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
