he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
wow bdsm is so cute
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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