Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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