He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
