All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
farters have to be the big spoon...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
