I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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