So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
