Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
