I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
