You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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