You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
