Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
