help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The feeling are messing with the penis
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize