I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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