drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
