Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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